No New Cases of SADS since June, says WHO

AP-September 9, 2019

The World Health Organization announced today that there have been no confirmed new cases of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome since June of this year. A spokesperson for the international organization was hesitant to declare that the danger has passed, particularly since there are still no definitive answers about the cause of the disease which claimed over 9,500 people from all walks of life and in nearly every country in the world.

Representatives for the Centers for Disease Control echoed that cautionary tone, stating in a press release: "While the current situation regarding the epidemic known as SADS seems to have relaxed somewhat, now is not the time to relax our efforts in determining the root of this fatal disease. Individuals suffering from sudden, acute, unexplained pain are still advised to seek immediate medical attention and all meaningful efforts to protect oneself from infection by SADS or any other potentially fatal disease should still be maintained." The press release did not, however, list what the CDC considers to be meaningful efforts for preventing infection by SADS.

The American Faith Coalition also released comments on the WHO announcement, stating: "We believe that the trials that have been recently visited upon the Earth have come to an end, indicating that its purpose has been completed. We look forward to the safety and good health that has been promised us by our Creator and to the future of the Golden Age of Earth that lies before us."

Meanwhile, a call to the White House confirmed that research into the nature of SADS and the means of transmission of the mysterious illness is ongoing.